I am VERY VERY happy, cuz I have finally decided what to do next year. 
For about one month now, I've been stressing out over whether to stay
in Korea and continue working, or to risk refusing the contract
extension and moving back to California. 

This is how I felt for 30 straight days. (I love Ramona)

I've finally decided to move back home.  I don't know if I'm reading
too much into this, but I was reading through Genesis this past month,
and I kept reading about God telling Abraham, etc. to leave their home
and go where God tells them to.  So I kept wondering, is this God's way
of telling me to stay in Korea?  I really really couldn't figure
anything out.  But I had to decide by this afternoon, and I was leaning
towards going home after I spoke with my mom yesterday.  So last night
I continue where I left off in Gensis, and the first line I read is God
telling Jacob to go home:
Genesis 31:3- "Return to the land of your ancestors and to your kindred, and I will be with you."
Genesis 31:13- Now leave this land at once and return to the land of your birth."

Okay, so I realize that this may be just a little coincidence, but I've
been praying for God to guide me and direct in terms of what to do, and
everytime I made a decision, I just couldn't seem to stick by it.  And
then at the 11th hour, the first thing I read is God telling Jacob to
go back to his family and his birthplace.

And I realize that I've really really wanted to come home, but I was
trying (praying) really hard that God would help me accept whatever
decision. 

I guess one of my fears is that when I go home, I'll be unemployed, and
then catastrophe will strike and my family and I will live like the
Joads in the Grapes of Wrath.  But I'm really hoping that maybe God was
telling me that God will be with me, just like with Jacob when he
returned home.  So all will be well right?

So, another reason to leave Korea: melamine spiking from China. 
Apparently, Korea has been affected by the melamine spiking of food
products such as oreos, ritz cheese crackers, all cookies and biscuits
from China.  SCARY!!!! I don't want Kidney stones! although i'm
destined to have them since my dad, uncle, and aunt did.  i couldn't
escape gall stones; i'm certainly not going to escape kidney stones.

AND, scary, but I ate some oreos a couple weeks ago at work.  good
thing i haven't been eating any processed sugar for the last two weeks
though.

toxic toothpaste, melamine laced food, fatal tuna... seriously!  i
don't think i'll ever buy anything from china that goes in my mouth.

see everyone in two weeks!

Since i had the day off, I decided to make chicken soup. I'm super afraid of bird flu and etc., so i'm making sure it's cooked AAAALLLLLL the way. which means i have some time to kill... hence, xanga.

Super healthy, no added sodium, etc. not too bad i guess. i refuse to die of a heart attack before i'm thirty.

life has been tolerable lately. maybe it's cuz i know i'll be going home in exactly one month. and then home again december 15th. if i've communicated with you in the past week, you'll know that i'm contemplating staying another 6 months in korea. i almost decided to stay in seoul this past weekend, but then i talked with some people, thought a lot, got an email from brother which made a lot of sense, and i'm now leaning towards coming home. but i still don't know.

my dad wants me to stay in korea until i become "normal". i.e. not obese. but at this point, i think i've shown that my lifestyle has changed and i don't need to stress too much about that. Anyway, i took jane's advice and decided to make a pro/con list:

Pros (of staying in seoul):
1. Guaranteed job/salary
2. Get to spend more time with family (i LOVE my grandma!)
3. Public transportation
4. No worries over Christmas break
5. I can save up more money
6. 11 hour work weeks
7. What if God wants me to stay?

Cons:
1. Every time I step out of my apartment, I'm full of anger and hatred- especially for the 10,000 guys who blow smoke in my face.
2. I know I don't want to do this as a career, and I'm ready to start something long-term in CA (or teach ESL until I can get a real job) so if I stay, I feel like I'm stuck.
3. I can't readily apply and interview for jobs
4. Very few friends here. None Christian, cept one who lives far away.

2 of like 4 friends that I have... and my students don't count, cuz even tho i meet up with them regularly for fun, it's not the same. there's no connection.

5. Zero spiritual accountability and encouragement
6. I'll be "playing it safe" unless God actually wants me here.
7. Public transportation (I was stuck on the bus right behind this man with the largest, spotted, pulsating, hairy wart on the back of his neck)
8. Pollution is pretty dang bad here
9. I'm not as active, cuz I hate going out into the crowds, and I don't have many friends with whom to go out : )
10. Everything except kimbap is super expensive.
11. The exchange rate kinda blows, so i end up making a lot less than is possible.
12. My mom won't fully retire until I get a real job in CA

Of course all of this is irrelevant if God wants to me stay or go. But my intense desperation to go home makes it hard to hear God. And I told God, just in passing, that I'll ask if I can sign a 6 month contract as opposed to a 12 month contract, and if they said yes, I would stay. so when i decided maybe i should stay, i felt at peace, but then i would get these very frequent stabs of "ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!" Go home and start a career! But then, technically, in situation like that, i'm setting up the conditions, and anyway, i'm just really really stressed out over what to do.

i want to go home and find a job. Hopefully, a university or a museum will hire me within the next year.

anyway, there's this place called cafe sobahn, and it specializes in bibimbap. so every thursday, i meet some friends at the cafe at SNU, and we eat on the terrace overlooking a stream and Gwanak mountain.

I usually get the bibimbap with nine different kinds of veggies. It's quite tasty.

My cousin and I have been killing about 10 mosquitos on average per night. Lucky for me, sucks for my cousin, but all the mosquitos seem to favor her blood. so i didn't have any bites for the longest time. Then I wake up one morning with three itchies. a mosquito got trapped inside my mosquito net and i fell asleep with the parasitic little wretch feasting on my blood. When i woke up and killed the beast:

blood. my blood splurted out of it.

i miss my family. even tho when i'm home i only see brother once a month for like five minutes. i don't think we've taken a family photo in like years and years. this one was from like 3 years ago when my family minus me, all went out to jean georges or george georges, or whatever that one overpriced manhattan, french restaurant is called. of course, when I'M home, and it's MY birthday, MY dad suggests Royal Buffet in Chino Hills. i prefer the two piece el pollo loco meal (breast and wing) with sides of cole slaw and rice, so i can make my own little chicken burritos.
yuuummmm... chicken burritos...

so i'll be home october 15th-27th... and minus wedding stuff, and hopefully job interview stuff, anyone wanna go out on a date with me? : )

kayaking anyone? i really really really wanna go kayaking again.

please someone tell me what to do about korea!!!! i don't want to do something i'll regret... cuz i always do that, and it sucks!